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Lorissa Nelson

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October 23, 2021

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You’re Not an Orphan: How to Start Living Like a Daughter (of God)

Growing up in church, I never really heard teachings/preaching about sonship & daughtership. This whole concept was brand spanking new to me when I was introduced to it a few years ago by one my favorite preachers and previous pastor, Dr. Matthew Stevenson. It was like…someone handed me a bunch of keys that could unlock my freedom from a lot of the things I had been dealing with since a young age. Low self-esteem, premarital sex, identity crisis – you know, all the struggles the church told me would go away if I just prayed a little more…read my Bible more. Go to church more. The church wasn’t wrong for teaching what they thought was the right thing. And yes, all of these things are good. We should pray more. We should read our Bibles more. We absolutely should go to church more; but even my perspective on those things changed after learning about what true sonship & daughtership is.

Let me break this down for you in the most simple way possible so that it’s easier for you to keep up, digest, and understand all of this.

If you are a believer in Jesus Christ and you have received salvation, you are a daughter (or a son if you’re a man reading this) of God. Romans 8:14-17 says, “For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”

There’s a lot to unpack there so let’s go slow.

If you’re led by the Spirit of God, you’re a child of God. We, as believers, should always be led by the Spirit of God. This is the same Spirit we received once we received Jesus as our savior, Lord, and King. This spirit does not make us slaves so that we live in fear again. This Spirit we received brought about our adoption to daughtership. As a result, we’re able to cry out, “Abba”, or Father. We are now able to connect with God on a father-daughter basis. This wasn’t the case before Jesus. For this reason and since we are His children, we’re heirs. Heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ. 

It’s simple – we’re adopted into God’s wonderful family of royalty and we get to call him our Father. We are no longer orphans roaming around without a daddy. Not only is He our king, but our father.

I am extremely fortunate to have an amazing father. My daddy is one of my favorite people in the world. He took great care of my sisters and I by working hard to provide for his family. We wanted for nothing. He was there for us physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally…he is literally the epitome of a good dad. Once I started learning about what it actually means to be a daughter of God, it was easy for me to build a relationship with Him because I have a good relationship with my natural father. Now, this can also go the other way – if you have a bad relationship with your natural father or not one at all, you may see God through a broken, bitter lens…the same one you see your natural father through. 

This is why it is difficult for many women to have a good relationship with the heavenly Father. They see Him as a mean higher power who doesn’t do what they want or need Him to do which makes them feel abandoned by Him. Or – when they do something “wrong” they run from Him thinking they’re going to get in trouble, like I used to do. If my sisters or myself did something we knew we weren’t supposed to do, we hid. Because we knew if my daddy found out, we’d get punished. I was the same way with God because of my religious upbringing. Every time I had sex outside of marriage (which was often…just being honest), I thought God wouldn’t bless me with a good husband. Or…give me one who had bad sex. Every time I told a lie, I thought God hated me. If I missed a day of praying or reading my Bible, I thought God was keeping tabs. Do you see how the orphan mentality works? It automatically disqualifies us from living like true sons and daughters. And here’s the tea…He’s a good, GOOD Father. The punishment you thought you deserved? Jesus took it for you. God literally poured out His wrath on Jesus the Christ so that He didn’t have to pour it out on you. He is rich in grace and abundant in mercy toward us. The first step we must take to realizing who we really are is by recognizing what Christ has done for us. As soon as we accept that, and REALLY accept it, the rest is easy. Matthew 7:11 says, “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” Good dads give good gifts to their children. Since we’re daughters, we should accept our good gifts with ease. My daddy spoiled us and gave us good gifts. Do you think we hesitated taking them? No. My husband spoils our daughter rotten and gets her anything she wants. You think she says, “no daddy, I can’t accept this because I’ve been a bad girl lately”, even though she can’t talk that well yet? Absolutely not. She snatches them and says, “thank you!” Because she knows that her daddy will do anything for her because he loves her. My daddy did and still will do anything for me because He loves me. Nothing I do will ever change his mind about me. Nothing I do will ever change His mind about me. Nothing YOU do will ever change His mind about you. You’re a daughter to the most perfect Father and King. Accept it. Embrace it. Live like it. 

Xo- Riss

  1. Demetreana says:

    Thank you so much for this blog post. My eyes are open to why I have this on and off relationship with God. Ive been hiding for so long, embarrassed by my mistakes. I don’t have a relationship with my natural father or mother. I know what to do now. Thank you

  2. Jhen says:

    This right here is exactly what I needed to hear at a such a time. So many past things I keep thinking about thinking he won’t bless me now because of it. Thank you for this indeed he’s a good father and no good gift will he withhold from us👏🏾

  3. Ash says:

    I needed this. Amen🙏🏾

  4. JACQUELINE D SMITH says:

    Ooooohhhhh…I needed this….AMEN🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

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